Addicted to Kickboxing...

YOU KNOW YOU’RE ADDICTED TO KICKBOXING AND MUAY THAI WHEN…

30. You hate people who say they’re a “kickboxer” after doing a Tae Bo class

29. You’re five-feet tall but no longer suffer from “little man’s syndrome” thanks to Michael Zambidis

28. You subscribe to Foxtel just for the kickboxing broadcasts

27. Your house suddenly goes up in flames and you scramble to save what’s most precious to you – your kickboxing DVD collection

26. You were the guy who would always hire the one copy of Stan Longinidis vs Charlie Archie video at Video Ezy

25. Your scout facebook.com and Myspace.com searching for kickboxers who you can add as “friends”

24. When watching AFL and seeing a player go down from a corked thigh you roll your eyes and say, “Step into the ring son!”

23. You think Bridget Woods and not Angelina Jolie is the hottest woman in the world

22. You only have sex with your partner Dane Beecham style, whereby during the throes of passion you look at her and say, “Whose your Daddy Cool!”

21. You name your first-born son “Wayne” and your second-born son “Nathan”

20. You begin putting random Thai words in your daily speech

19. You refuse to eat at any restaurant except for Thai

18. You wear a gold Buddha around your neck even though you’re not Buddhist

17. You don’t shake hands any more but instead greet family, friends and business associates Thai-style by putting both hands together in front of your face

16. You argue that Stan Longinidis and not Sir Donald Bradman deserves to be recognised as Australia’s greatest sportsman

15. You take salsa classes but are expelled when you instinctively start grappling as your salsa partner puts her arms around your waist

14. You walk around in kickboxing promotional t-shirts that are more than five years old

13. You get Thai writing tattooed on your arm or back even though you don’t read or speak Thai

12. Everything you do is timed in three-minute brackets

11. Your girlfriend asks for a massage and you rub her down with Tiger balm

10. You think ‘Ong Bak’ and not ‘The Departed’ deserved the Oscar for Best Movie

9. You and your mates sit around reciting Michael Schiavello’s one-liners

8. While walking down the street you naturally size people up and think “I could drop him with a leg kick.”

7. You ask your mates to call you “Kru”

6. You go out clubbing and begin doing moves from the Ram Muay on the dancefloor

5. You believe Nugget should run as an Independent Member of Parliament for the Queensland government

4. You would actually vote for Nugget as an Independent Member of Parliament for the Queensland government

3. While waiting in the doctor’s surgery you demand they stock back issues of International Kickboxer for you to read

2. You write your university thesis on the bio-mechanics of the Thai roundhouse kick

1. You’re a member of at least five different kickboxing internet forums and you spend most of your day thinking of something intelligent to say.